01 / USE IT WELL
Permission matters with personal topics
A thoughtful question is not an entitlement to disclosure. Let the other person answer at the depth appropriate to the stage of the relationship.
02 / USE IT WELL
Share your own answer too
Compatibility conversation should be reciprocal. Questions feel less like assessment when you are willing to reveal your own preferences and uncertainty.
03 / USE IT WELL
Look for process, not identical opinions
Differences can be workable when people communicate, negotiate and respect limits. Similar answers do not compensate for dismissive behaviour.